I was chatting with my friend today who has been out of work for a while now. She’s one of the sharpest people I know, but she’s still been struggling for a few months in finding a job in tech.
In the beginning, she loved the unemployed life. A life-long overachiever, it was almost a relief for her to be laid off from what was sure to become the fast track to burnout.
Suddenly her day was her own: She had time for hobbies, for exercise, for friends. She still had the afterglow of being employed, which made her desirable. She wasn’t worried about getting a job right away.
She enjoyed the freedom… Until she didn’t.
At some point, the freedom became suffocating. She was waking up purpose-less. The hobbies weren’t fulfilling. And meeting up with friends had become a painful comparison game as even the ones who started off unemployed along with her were finding their place in their careers.
I’m an entrepreneur, so there was no comparison game between us. Were were playing totally different games. Which made it easy for her to open up to me.
“I know I’m not a loser,” she said to me as we walked, “but I’ve been in my head for so long that I can’t think of anything that even excites me about going back to work.”
She leaned against the traffic light we were waiting at and said, “You know, it’s really exhausting to spend time with yourself.”
Boy, do I know about that.
When I set out to build my business, I was the same way -- crazy afterglow, sought-after, exuding confidence, sweating and spitting the certainty of my inevitable success. It’s easy when you’re starting out.
And then at some point you realize, it’s going to be harder than you thought.
You start getting glimpses of what you’re REALLY up against, and it ain’t pretty.
There are so many moving parts, there are so many things that could go wrong at any given moment, and making the wrong move could cost you the client (or in my friend’s case, the interview or job offer).
It’s tough to know what to spend time on, which of the things you’re doing ACTUALLY make a difference and which are just a waste of time, designed to keep you busy.
But most of all… It’s hard to spend time with yourself.
When you’re job searching for a long time (just like when you’re trying to get a business of the ground for a long time), you get to meet parts of you that you’d rather not.
Despair, fear, shame, anger, helplessness, guilt, desperation. Just a handful of the places that were my emotional default, and I know are the emotional default for some of you.
I know how much it hurts.
It’s enough to make apathy sound extremely appealing.
But apathy is not the solution. When you cross the line to apathy, you’ve virtually guaranteed your failure. Because you’ve lost the fight in you. You’ve given up.
There are ways to overcome these incredibly ugly, weakening, unproductive emotions. To move through them and emerge as a winner on the other side.
I was fortunate enough to discover those, so that today I live in victory, in possibility, in gratitude, in joy.
And if you’re dealing with any of what I’ve described… Then I want to help you live here, too. Please don’t hesitate to reach out: grab a spot on my calendar and we can talk about where you are, where you want to go, and how to get there.
Did you know that 2020 is less than 50 days away?
About 4 months ago, I made a mistake.
I was doing a presentation for this group of entrepreneurs I work with, and I was teaching them how they can take Q4 and make it their biggest quarter ever. The only problem was, Q4 hadn’t even started.
I was a whole month early, and I was talking about it as if it’s already here.
I could tell the math wasn’t adding up as I was talking, but only later did I realize why.
The reason this happened, is because I felt so keenly aware of my time ticking until the end of the year. I had set a big, aggressive goal for my own business, and wanted to lay down the strategies I was using to achieve it. And because I was so obsessed with this deadline, I felt that it was so near, even in the middle of summer.
I felt really dumb about it after it happened, but I quickly realized this is actually a good thing.
You see, I had so many projects in the past where I just didn’t see the end of the year coming until it was literally RIGHT THERE. For example, I had a food blog where it would have made a lot of sense to have healthy-eating content ready to go at the turn of the new year. But I was always too late.
This time, I was too early.
But the nice thing about being too early is that it adds up. It’s a competitive advantage that keeps compounding. Here's why:
I’m not saying this to brag. I’m saying it because you can take this exact attitude and adapt it to your career:
Most people say this is a tough time for hiring. That means most people are going to be waiting around for Jan 1st before they put real effort into the search. You have an opportunity to beat them to it.
Most people have already given up on this year, and are just planning next year. They think they’re ahead because they’re putting together their resolutions now. But you could be setting things in motion now so that instead of just a list of resolutions, you already HAVE 2-3 offers in hand by Jan 1st (if not starting your dream job itself).
We’re talking about the end of 2019, but REALLY we’re talking about your whole life.
The end of the year makes tangible for us what we cannot possibly be aware of at all times -- that things have an end. Just as there’s not always gonna be “tomorrow” in this year, there’s not always gonna be “Someday” in this lifetime.
If you’re DONE waiting and you’re ready to start living your goals today... Feel free to talk to me about how you can do that. Grab a spot on my calendar.
Future-You will thank you.
(PS- Yes, the call is free).